It's more of a psychic disruption, rather than an emotional upheaval as one would expect
My mother died two days ago after a thirteen year struggle against a deadly disease that often lead to an agonizing end. Over the course of the thirteen years she and I had spoken of the eventuality of her death. With beliefs strongly rooted in the Bible, she had a very defined idea of an afterlife. I have a loose undefined belief, so she could admit to me that though she didn't fear death she did fear the possibility of suffering the end. So, she designated me as Medical Power of attorney to tell medical people attending to her death that she wanted to avoid suffering. She reiterated this in conversation two weeks before her death.
A week before she died, she was taken to the hospital, unable to stand. Three days before she died, death was not imminent, but late in the day I just knew I needed to visit her . I went the next day. She lived in a different state and as I was traveling to her, I received a call from my sister indicated that mom's health was deteriorating. Still death was not imminent. A conversation had been started about hospice care. My mom understood that this meant preparing to keep her from suffering when her health became worse. In a conversation alone, she admitted to being afraid that by asking for medication that would ease the pain and not bear the suffering that God might see that as suicide, judging and damning her in the afterlife. I explained to her that she needed to trust in the God she believed in and that he had brought her to where she was with all the tools needed to keep her from suffering. She needed to trust that this was God's will. That was on Sunday.
I had become her spiritual talisman as she headed into the process of passing on. The next day, we had a conversation that included her and a hospice care worker. Mom's beliefs held to what she had said. I sensed something was not quite right. She wasn't quite comfortable, but too tired to continue a phone conversation.
The next morning, during my usual morning meditation I fell into a deep trance ad had a conversation with mom in the non-local conscious, which I can describe words though words didn't pass. She had become fearful that she hadn't bee the person she tried to convince everyone she was and might be judged and condemned in the afterlife. It was an understandable fear. She had been very abusive verbally and emotionally to my sister and I when were children. I spent the last thirty years of her life being there for her in a process of forgiveness and duty. During that time, she had remained vapidly judgmental and critical of the world, driving everyone away from her.
I conveyed to her as we shared each other in the non-local conscious that she only had one recourse: to ask God for forgiveness. Seven hours later, she passed away peacefully, her breathing getting more and more shallow as she lost consciousness and her heart stop
I have had a bond with my mother through the non-local conscious, but she had killed any emotional bod in childhood. I tended to her strictly through compassion, duty and forgiveness. The day she died, It felt like a psychic weight had been lifted Now I am experiencing a feeling of something different in my psychic being; not bad but different, requiring adaptation.
My mother died two days ago after a thirteen year struggle against a deadly disease that often lead to an agonizing end. Over the course of the thirteen years she and I had spoken of the eventuality of her death. With beliefs strongly rooted in the Bible, she had a very defined idea of an afterlife. I have a loose undefined belief, so she could admit to me that though she didn't fear death she did fear the possibility of suffering the end. So, she designated me as Medical Power of attorney to tell medical people attending to her death that she wanted to avoid suffering. She reiterated this in conversation two weeks before her death.
A week before she died, she was taken to the hospital, unable to stand. Three days before she died, death was not imminent, but late in the day I just knew I needed to visit her . I went the next day. She lived in a different state and as I was traveling to her, I received a call from my sister indicated that mom's health was deteriorating. Still death was not imminent. A conversation had been started about hospice care. My mom understood that this meant preparing to keep her from suffering when her health became worse. In a conversation alone, she admitted to being afraid that by asking for medication that would ease the pain and not bear the suffering that God might see that as suicide, judging and damning her in the afterlife. I explained to her that she needed to trust in the God she believed in and that he had brought her to where she was with all the tools needed to keep her from suffering. She needed to trust that this was God's will. That was on Sunday.
I had become her spiritual talisman as she headed into the process of passing on. The next day, we had a conversation that included her and a hospice care worker. Mom's beliefs held to what she had said. I sensed something was not quite right. She wasn't quite comfortable, but too tired to continue a phone conversation.
The next morning, during my usual morning meditation I fell into a deep trance ad had a conversation with mom in the non-local conscious, which I can describe words though words didn't pass. She had become fearful that she hadn't bee the person she tried to convince everyone she was and might be judged and condemned in the afterlife. It was an understandable fear. She had been very abusive verbally and emotionally to my sister and I when were children. I spent the last thirty years of her life being there for her in a process of forgiveness and duty. During that time, she had remained vapidly judgmental and critical of the world, driving everyone away from her.
I conveyed to her as we shared each other in the non-local conscious that she only had one recourse: to ask God for forgiveness. Seven hours later, she passed away peacefully, her breathing getting more and more shallow as she lost consciousness and her heart stop
I have had a bond with my mother through the non-local conscious, but she had killed any emotional bod in childhood. I tended to her strictly through compassion, duty and forgiveness. The day she died, It felt like a psychic weight had been lifted Now I am experiencing a feeling of something different in my psychic being; not bad but different, requiring adaptation.